Tuesday, March 23, 2010

theres an app for that....

Earlier today i was walking out of a classy downtown building in a fine suit when i saw a rather attractive young lady walking toward me. She was dressed nicely with chanel shades on, toting a coach purse while talking on her iPhone...i would guess her age to be about 19 or 20. Pretty standard for todays society i thought. As i sat down my briefcase on the tile floor i quickly smiled and held the door as i have been brought up to do from the time i could stand. To my surprise she strolled through without so much as acknowledging that i was there. no thanks, no eye contact...nothing....

Enraged i ardently replied in a loud sarcastic tone "you're welcome"...this was not good. She paused did a complete 180 and took off her 10 dollar knockoff shades to say "go F*ck yourself....to which i then replied "there's an app for that..." (add explosion sound effects here)....As we we argued back and forth for the next 30 or so seconds i told her that all the fake baking and fancy "replica" items that she bought off the asian dudes in the strip district suit her quite well...i then explained that my suit cost more than the abortion her parents should have decided on.

I then proceeded to tell her that all her dollar bills and high class attitude on life made one thing very clear....."$ can not buy class." I then told her that her rib stealing gender has been taking "i'm too good for you and bitchery 101 classes at all the local colleges and passing with flying colors." Congratulaitons hunny...you're a success.

I left her with a "good day maam" and put on my clip on shades (6 dollars at sheetz) and strolled happily over to my beat up nissan sentra to drive away....i was smiling the whole time.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Chivalry is dead and women killed it.

I am writing a 200 page novel in the vein of klosterman and the good doctor and this will be one chapters focus. I need 4 guest chapters, Here are my 1st picks as i find these peoples rants to be highly entertaining and for the most part true:
Chapter 1. "A PennDot State of Mind" by Zach Edwards
Chapter 2. "The Wal-Mart Hiearchy" by Justin Kelly
Chapter 3. "The Politics of Who Gives a Shit" by Cody Slater
Chapter 4. "How to Get Away w/ Saying/Doing Anything Past Midnight" by Mike Vinroe.

Good day.

1 comment:

  1. i want to read the novel :] sounds interesting, and i liked your blog. however, i dont think all women killed chivalry. i appreciate it! maybe cause i dont have my nose so far in the air but a thank you is always polite.

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